DOOGLEH
/ˈduɡ·leh/ · Assyrian · noun, interjection, entire personality
Lies. Nonsense. That thing your friend just said with a completely straight face.
For generations, calling doogleh required being in the same room as the liar. Today, that changes. Below is the world’s first forensic doogleh detector. It is not accurate. It has never been wrong.
Using it in a sentence
“Bro I'm literally pulling up right now.”
Doogleh. He's in the shower.
“I only had two.”
Doogleh. There are seven cans behind you.
“Yeah no I read the whole thing.”
Doogleh. You read the title.
“I don't even care that much.”
Doogleh. You've brought it up four times.
“The traffic was insane.”
Doogleh. You left late. You always leave late.
“I was gonna text you.”
Doogleh. Of the highest order.
Warning signs you are being doogleh’d
- 01The story gets 15% better every time it's told.
- 02They said "long story short" and then spoke for nine minutes.
- 03Specific numbers. Nobody real remembers specific numbers.
- 04They're answering a question you didn't ask.
- 05"My cousin works there" is doing all the load-bearing work.
- 06They started with "I'm not gonna lie."
Frequently Doubted Questions
- Is this scientifically valid?
- Doogleh.
- Do you store what I type?
- No. There’s no server, no database, no analytics. It all happens in your browser and then it’s gone. We know that sounds like doogleh. It isn’t.
- Am I saying it right?
- Probably not, but say it loud enough and confident enough and nobody will challenge you. That’s the whole trick, honestly.
- What if I’m the liar?
- Then you already know your result and you don’t need us.